Cesar and I celebrated our fourth anniversary this week! Amanda was so nice and took Rosie for the night so Cesar and I could get away. (Thanks sis!) After a whole 24 hours of no baby, no mickey mouse, no singing "itsy bitsy spider," and no poopy diapers, I have to admit I felt sad our "together time" was over! Maybe that is wrong for me to say, and maybe it means my "motherly instinct" isn't completely in touch right now, but is it so bad that I love my husband so much that I truly miss the time when it was just him and I? I keep having these torn feelings, like I should miss Rosie more than I do after not seeing her for twenty four hours, but at the same time I am so sad that Cesar and I probably won't have another 24 hours alone for another year! I truly hope I am not the only mother who loves her children tremendously, but misses the time she had with her husband before kids came along!
I feel like if I continue to write I will just continue to sound like a worse mom, so I will leave it there.
Hahaha! Sarah you are not a bad mom at all... seriously, you are too hard on yourself and I don't like it one bit! A happy marriage is one of the greatest gifts you can give your children so honestly it's totally unnecessary to feel guilty for strengthening it. I have a confession that might make you feel better. The night before the boys were born, we laid in bed excited but nervous. When Nate said goodnight I actually had a good solid cry because I knew I would miss him so much. And this was after 4 years of just being the two of us! No matter how happy I was to finally have my babies, I still keenly felt the loss of much of my time with Nate. Anyways, I love you and think you are wonderful. Now stop being so hard on yourself :)
ReplyDeleteI agree Em! Loving Rosie's daddy is one of the best things you can do for her. And little breaks alone together will help you enjoy and appreciate your time spent with her. You're such an amazing wife/mommy!
ReplyDeleteThere's more! I too have a confession to make...Some friends in our ward want to go to a Haunted House this weekend for date night. Because babysitters are difficult to come by (especially at 9:30 pm) we won't be able to go. For a split second I longed for the day when we didn't have to worry about a babysitter, back when it was just the two of us and we could go do random, spontaneous things. I felt even worse when I thought "we didn't have that time alone long enough in our marriage!" In reality, I wouldn't trade it for the world - I've never been happier, and that has everything to do with my little buddy Olivia and her daddy. And I know we'll make sure to find plenty of alone time in the future, it just has to be more scheduled and practical for a while.
ReplyDeleteOh man, I so loved having Rosie in our house. She belongs here! Here's an idea--let's give each other some breaks more often! We could all use more quality time with our hubbies (and probably more than once a year, Sar!).
ReplyDeletePlus--you guys weren't even gone long enough to miss her. 24 hours...no feel-bads allowed. :)
Time is slipping away from us so fast--and time with our spouses is only going to get harder to come by. I'm thinking we just have to be more aggressive about carving it into the schedule, even when we think it won't fit or we don't really need it. Cause we do.