And now that I have finally joined the party, I can't help but feel humbled by all of your wisdom and understanding of this divine role of motherhood! I don't' know why I didn't get your text about your last post Sar, I promise I was not ignoring you!
I have done some soul-searching myself since our talk last Saturday night, and your post and comments have supplemented my thoughts perfectly. I don't yet have them compiled to a point where I can offer the profound insights of Amanda or Emily, but I do want to share a conference talk that has uplifted me recently and reinforced the importance of our work as moms. It was given before any of us had begun this motherhood journey (Shelby was still tucked away in Amanda's tummy).
I do like how Emily explained that Motherhood is like being your own boss and running your own family organization (and like she said, that organization needs some structure in order to be successful). The problem with being your own boss, is that you are also in charge of figuring out your own rewards and compensation for your all hard work! So I echo Amanda, you need to do some soul-searching of your own to find those things that fill you up and rejuvenate you, and then make sure they are happening!
I was lucky to attend TOFW a couples weeks ago in Denver. Julie de Azevedo Hanks (a Studio 5 regular) asked us all to think about those things in life that bring us JOY. Make a list of those things, and that list will give you information about your individual life's mission and your true authentic self. Maybe there is something on that list that you have neglected or given up -- If so, she stressed the importance of not giving those things up, but to pay attention to those things because they are a part of our true identity.
She then went on to explain the many of us moms feel guilty or selfish for taking time to focus on and develop the things that bring us joy. She explained the difference between selfish and self-care:
Selfish: Doing what is in your best interest without regard to others.
Self-care: Doing what is in your best interest with regard to others.
So when we pay attention to self-care, we are more able to focus and attend to the needs of others (like the 10 virgins example Amanda gave).
Finally, let's consider the two greatest commandments: Love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and then thy Neighbor as thy Self. If you will notice, WE are also included in commandment #2: we are to love and care for ourselves on the same level as we do for our neighbors (hubby and kids). It is the quintessential triangle relationship between the Lord, neighbor, and self - and if we neglect any point of the triangle, we are not living up to the two most important commandments.
Well, the novel tendency just must be genetic - I don't think any of us can communicate all we want to in a single sentence! And why should we? We are Naegles after-all. Love you sisters!
Thank you Lizzy! I LOVED that talk. It was so comforting and gave good direction. I think I have some major soul searching to do these next few weeks to figure out what "fills my cup" so I don't get drained so easily. I also never thought of the commandment to love myself, too. I always thought it was all about being selfless, but apparently that only lasts for so long, because I can't do it any more! :) Once again, Heavenly Father's wisdom reaches FAR beyond my own. It always will, and I need to trust in that.
ReplyDeleteAlso, thank you for the wonderful girls weekend. I had such a great time, and my spirit SO needed that time with my sisters. I am so grateful for you Lizzy, and getting us together. I love you!!!!!!
Love you too!!
ReplyDeleteHmmm..., the things that bring me joy: Holding Gavin, the twins' laughter, Nate's laughter, order, the temple, the spirit... I can already see what I need to work on. Thanks Lizzy!
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