I want to start a comment thread about Ego and Essence. I want to hear if you guys have any "ah-ha" moments as you try to implement it into your life. (Quick background: Ego is the external you, the worldly, prideful, offense taking, defensive, insecure, depressed, worried, angry side of you. Essence is who you have always been, the divine son/daughter of God.)
One thing I realized tonight is that Ego feeds on the energy of conflict, complaints, and worries. Without that food, Ego becomes depressed.
I think I find things to worry about or I pick a fight because I feel depressed and need the energy from tackling another "crisis". I have a lot of practice ahead of me to just be... and just be happy. Whether there are problems to tackle or not.
Anyone learn something about themselves?
Sorry for not responding sooner, Em, it's been a hectic week! I honestly need to watch more of the ego/essence to contribute much, but I have noticed my ability to not cause conflict has been strengthened. We all know I struggle with holding my tongue, and I'm pretty emotional, which is a bad combination. But in the heat of the moment I now get this "essence check" where I ask myself how I really feel, and whether the issue is really that important, and whether or not I'm really helping or hindering a situation with how I contribute to it.
ReplyDeleteSorry for not responding sooner, Em, it's been a hectic week! I honestly need to watch more of the ego/essence to contribute much, but I have noticed my ability to not cause conflict has been strengthened. We all know I struggle with holding my tongue, and I'm pretty emotional, which is a bad combination. But in the heat of the moment I now get this "essence check" where I ask myself how I really feel, and whether the issue is really that important, and whether or not I'm really helping or hindering a situation with how I contribute to it.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure how I missed this post in the first place...
ReplyDeleteFirst, bravo Sarah! I really need to do an essence check like that more often. And Emmy, that is very very interesting about ego feeding off of conflict. I know My ego like sharing something to whine about...anything to disrupt my peace. That's something i realized this morning: ego's number one goal is eliminate peace... In any way it can. Anytime I'm not at peace, I need to realize where I am. Period. In spite of my trials. In spite of other's actions. In spite of falling short of my goals. In spite of the moods or grudges of those around me. There is sweet peace that can be had in any situation. I just have no idea how to get there yet. :) I am so far away from that right now,but at least I know it's POSSIBLE, and I know what to work towards...
One funny thing I learned last week is the idea that we can take something of essence and turn it into ego. I am realizing that my spirit delights in beauty. My soul is filled when I'm creating, and when I'm around things that are visually beautiful and stimulating. I have thought about this and I rally believe it to be true about me. Whether its perfecting my hair as a seven year old, or asking mom if I can paint and completely redecorate my room as a 14 year old. :) There are lots of avenues to getting in my essence, and this is one of them.
So here's a funny experience. Last week I made a cake for Jess. It was a busy busy morning with our little family, so in the after noon I was feeling the need to unwind and energize my soul. So when Shelby was with nana and Sam was sleeping, I engaged in my creating. It was so wonderful.
Then when I brought it out at the party, the wave of compliments came and I started to get uncomfortable. My avenue to essence was now feeding my ego. I didn't like the feeling, and I wasn't sure how to respond. Isn't that crazy!? I shared the experience with Trav later that night. I told him that I didn't think that downplaying the cake would've satisfied my essence (nor would it have shut off my ego...it feeds off of my self criticism). He suggested to simply accept the compliment and remain focused on others. Change the subject. I have seen you all do this, and I thought it could be a good way to stay out of ego.
Funny story, I know-- but I think this applies to all of us in our own ways. Like you Emmy, or example--we all ooh and awe over your ability to express and simplify things of the spirit. Right? When someone compliments a part of our essence or a god-given ability, there is something weird that happens within us sometimes. Am I Right? And too often I see us downplaying those gifts so that we dont appear "egotistical". Strange, huh! Any thoughts or ideas?
P.S. i apologize for the misspelling and grammar issues. If you've ever tried typing a long message on an iPad you can understand. :)
ReplyDeleteI have felt that before, that's interesting. Why would essence be uncomfortable with a compliment? Matt Townsend (I kind of want to call him Guru Townsend - haha) did say that essence sees itself as part of a whole, like everyone around you is a part of you and the bigger picture. While ego likes to separate people and label them. Do compliments do that?
ReplyDeleteI think I have given a compliment from my essence though. Maybe it is the spirit with which it is given and received. I can tell you that I appreciate the beauty of your cake and the time it took you without infering that the cake adds to your value or makes you better than me. Maybe that's it. If a compliment is given with a hint of jealousy or envy it feels weird to essence. I guess we can just assume that people are complimenting from their essence and know that they are simply taking joy in something that gives us joy as well.
On the flip side we should notice how we compliment as well. For example, I know I have complimented both Sarah and Amanda's redecorating abilities with a tinge of jealousy. I am sure that shines through when I pay the compliment. It feels different when I compliment out of pure joy that one of my sisters is happy or succeeding at something. I feel we are just happy together for the blessings they have worked for, not comparing ourselves.
I just finished explaining Ego and Essence to Nate and he said that we have been doing a spiritual contest while the guys are doing a physical one. Haha, I think I need to explain it better...
Very good point. I think there can be ego and essence displayed on both ends. I have been full fledged in my ego when giving a compliment before. And guess what...it was very obvious to the receiver. So my compliment was boo. I have done the same to you, Emmy. "Wow, you're so much more spiritual than me. God speaks so directly to you." I think without knowing sometimes, we turn something of essence into something if ego in people. ESPECIALLY KIDS, RIGHT? Did you hear Matt say, "Hey Johnny I saw you help that kid of the bus today. You're do special, no one else would do that, only you would cause you're special." :) How funny. I have to be so careful of that with my kids. They have these incredible God given gifts that can bless the world, and at the same time they are learning it is not good to think to highly of yourself. I need to practice this with my kids so they will be brave to let their essence shine, without fear of being egotistical.
ReplyDeleteBecause seriously, how unstoppable is a kid who is not afraid to let their essence shine. :)