Caden had to wear this collar for a while to help strengthen the weak side of his neck. His head was jammed to one side for at least two months in the womb so he was born with a condition called torticollis. The way his head was jammed in there also caused a flat spot on one side of his head. Everyone else told me they couldn't even tell and he would grow out of it.
When he was about 3 months old I asked my doctor about it and he didn't seem too worried either. But he did refer me to a physical therapist for my own peace of mind and I finally got someone who took my concerns seriously. Caden's head was 7 mm different from one side to the other. They usually recommend a helmut once it gets to 8 mm. We did some stretches and exercises every day for about 2 months. The mobility and strength of his neck improved but his head remained at 7 mm difference.
That's when I had to decide between focusing treatment on his neck or his head. I knew Caden would be adorable no matter what his head looked like, but I didn't want walking/crawling to be overly frustrating for him so we choose to focus on his neck first and that led us to the tot collar.
He hated it at first! He screamed like he was being tortured! He looked at me like, "how could you do this to me? Don't you love me anymore?!" I felt so bad! Oh, how I hoped the short term discomfort would be worth it in the long run! We were very faithful with the collar for about 5 weeks before getting Caden's head measured again. He had a growth spurt during that time and his head went down to 3.5 mm difference between the sides (that's normal range, nobody has a totally symmetrical head). I was so glad!
Moral of the story: Sometimes it's hard to do what's right for your kids, in spite of what they think they want. He may have wanted that collar off every time I put it on him. But as a five year old, his life will be so much easier without vision problems and potentially severe scoliosis. Plus, this kid wants to move!! Sitting and crawling and walking with all come much easier now. He may still have some residual effects, but we'll try to keep up with the stretches and exercises so he can stay worry free. It's going to be an interesting balance between trying to give my kids everything they want in life and giving them what's best. Being a good mom is hard!
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ReplyDeleteThanks for this post Em. It's nice to know that I'm not the only mom that worries!
ReplyDeleteSometimes I don't know where the line is between being an overly concerned and paranoid mom and on the other side ignoring red-flags that could lead to preventable future problems. Let me explain- at Olivia's 15 month visit her doc suggested that I take her to a developmental screening last week. Of course I'm a little concerned. We went to the screening and I answered a ton of questions and they took a look at her gross and fine motor skills, vision and hearing, and together we determined there may be some concerns. Of course I worry more. Now I have an appointment with a pediatric opthamologist, and another to have a physical therapist, speech therapist, occupational therapist and other therapists that I can't remember their official title come by our house in a couple weeks to do thorough examinations of her in her home environment (Luckily it is through a non-profit that offers all this free to the community). But I hate thinking my little girl may have some extra challenges to deal with in this already difficult world! I know I'm likely over-reacting, it's just hard to hear others express concerns (primarily my mother-in-law)when I already think she's perfect. But like you, I want to give my baby the best opportunities for development and growth. So we'll just wait and see.
Oh Lizzy! How scary! There are so many unanswered questions going in to some of these things. Of course our brains go to the WORST that could happen immediately... For me, the worst was "Caden's skull is fused, he'll have to have sugery and a helmet and have lopsided ears forever!!!!" Haha, it only ended up being the lop-sided ears. But I kinda like them :) Our therapist did say we'd notice Caden's strong side when he first starts to walk, when he learns to ride a bike, and when he's relaxing as a teenager. I guess stressful situations will make him revert to favoring one side which can be dangerous in some settings.
ReplyDeleteAnyways, I feel so much more confident now that I know exactly what the situation is and how I can help him. It's before you figure all that out when you feel helpless. Don't worry, all the therapists who work with babies will teach you so much and help you understand what's REALLY going on with Livvy. Then you can ditch all those worst case scenarios in your head and just get back to loving your little peanut to pieces. She is perfect Lizzy, and no issue with her eyes or anything else can make her less so. In fact it just adds to the incredible beauty and individuality of your daughter! Love you guys and I can't wait to see you!!!
It seems like Emmy always knows what to say! But she is so right. Try not to jump to too many worst case scenarios before you know what's going on. Remember, Dad didn't talk until he was three and now he loves to talk! Haha! Good luck and please keep us posted. We love Olivia so much, and she is perfect just the way she is!
ReplyDeleteOh, you guys are making me miss your kids WAY to much. My heart is just so connected to your kiddos, and your worries and your feelings for them...it's like I share them too! What's amazing is that these kiddos are SOOOO HAPPY! They're happy because they have such loving mommies.
ReplyDeleteI know this wasn't the topic, but it just made me want to squeeze some kids and get some serious giggles out of them.