Tot Collar = I Love You Caden!

Caden had to wear this collar for a while to help strengthen the weak side of his neck. His head was jammed to one side for at least two months in the womb so he was born with a condition called torticollis. The way his head was jammed in there also caused a flat spot on one side of his head. Everyone else told me they couldn't even tell and he would grow out of it.

When he was about 3 months old I asked my doctor about it and he didn't seem too worried either. But he did refer me to a physical therapist for my own peace of mind and I finally got someone who took my concerns seriously. Caden's head was 7 mm different from one side to the other. They usually recommend a helmut once it gets to 8 mm. We did some stretches and exercises every day for about 2 months. The mobility and strength of his neck improved but his head remained at 7 mm difference.

That's when I had to decide between focusing treatment on his neck or his head. I knew Caden would be adorable no matter what his head looked like, but I didn't want walking/crawling to be overly frustrating for him so we choose to focus on his neck first and that led us to the tot collar.

He hated it at first! He screamed like he was being tortured! He looked at me like, "how could you do this to me? Don't you love me anymore?!" I felt so bad! Oh, how I hoped the short term discomfort would be worth it in the long run! We were very faithful with the collar for about 5 weeks before getting Caden's head measured again. He had a growth spurt during that time and his head went down to 3.5 mm difference between the sides (that's normal range, nobody has a totally symmetrical head). I was so glad!

Moral of the story: Sometimes it's hard to do what's right for your kids, in spite of what they think they want. He may have wanted that collar off every time I put it on him. But as a five year old, his life will be so much easier without vision problems and potentially severe scoliosis. Plus, this kid wants to move!! Sitting and crawling and walking with all come much easier now. He may still have some residual effects, but we'll try to keep up with the stretches and exercises so he can stay worry free. It's going to be an interesting balance between trying to give my kids everything they want in life and giving them what's best. Being a good mom is hard!

The Talk...Dun Dun Dun.

Em has requested that I share my talk in this lovely sister forum. What she doesn't know is that she was the inspiration of my talk, through her stirring "Box-breaking" post.

My topic was "To Rescue Someone." Odd, I know, but it's a theme our bishop really likes. The more I thought about this topic though, the more I thought about those times in our lives when we feel like we are the ones who need the rescuing! So in a nutshell, I focused my talk on how we can help ourselves get out of that funk through focusing on others - which I realize has been the topic of several of our posts.

Em, I tried to get your consent before sharing your experience, but I assure you that I painted you in the most favorable light. :) I shared the Neal A. Maxwell quote from your post (several people asked for that reference by the way).

Because I don't write out my talks word for word, this is the gist of what I said next:

Many of us who are or have been new or young parents can identify with my sister’s experience. But there are other life-changing events or circumstances that can also cause us to "take our own temperature" and question our happiness, or to long for different circumstances, to cry out for help and wonder if we have what it takes to stand up to the challenges before us.

In times like these, I have noticed something peculiar occur: When I go to the Lord pray for help with something I’m personally struggling with, He usually presents me with an opportunity to focus on and help someone else.

Elder Eyering explains this phenomenon:

"Most of us know of someone who needs attention. What touches me is to hear of an older widow whom I was intending to visit having been inspired to visit a younger widow to comfort her. A widow needing comfort herself was sent to comfort another. The Lord helped and blessed two widows by inspiring them to encourage each other. So He gave succor to them both."

"The Lord sent help in that same way to the humble poor in Alma 34. Once they had repented and were converted, they were still poor. But He sent them to do for others what they might reasonably have thought was beyond them and which they still needed. They were to give others what they would have hoped He would give them."

The Lord expects us to give to others what we hope to receive from Him.

1. If we desire financial security – we must pay an honest tithe and be generous with what we do have.
2. If we desire forgiveness, we must forgive those who offend us.
3. If we desire comfort, we must offer comfort to those around us.
4. If we desire happiness, we should be the means of bringing a smile upon someone else’s face.
5. If we desire a friend, we should reach out and be a friend to someone else.

Really, it’s simple. But sometimes I amaze myself with how slow I am at applying simple primary principles in my life.

Pres Uchtdorf sums this point up nicely:

"In the end, the number of prayers we say may contribute to our happiness, but the number of prayers we ANSWER may be of even greater importance. Let us open our eyes and see the heavy hearts, notice the loneliness and despair, let us feel the silent prayers of those around us and let us be an instrument in the hands of the lord to ANSWER those prayers."

Christ is the ultimate example of selflessness. He reaches out to you and me, desiring to heal us of any infirmity, pain or weakness we experience, whether it be impatience, lack of motivation, frustration or heartache. As we turn to Him, he uplifts us and answers our prayers by showing us how to help answer the prayers of others. He provides the strength in this process, we only need to provide a willing heart.

Well, there you have it ladies. It was pretty short due to time constraints, but I felt confident it was what I needed to share and talk about. It was awesome to feel the Spirit speak through me again. I miss that.

More Used Would I Be

Sunday was a busy day.

Willie and I both gave talks in Sacrament meeting, we both had lessons to teach, we had the Harnish in-law clan over for dinner (your Cafe Rio pork recipe turned out great Nan), and then I had New Beginnings for YW that evening. Whew! But although our "day of rest" consisted of running from one thing to the next, at the end of the day I felt more rejuvenated than I have in long time. I even told Will that night before bed, "I'm so glad the Lord isn't done with me yet." Meaning, I'm so glad He is still working on me, using me to bless others' lives while teaching me in the process. I guess it has been a while since I had felt His influence and guidance so strongly. And true to form, our sister Jessy summed up my re-learning experience nicely in her email on Monday:

"If you allow it, He will stretch you and pull you, in ways that you will not want to be stretched and pulled and would not if left to your own devises....

He cannot work on what He does not have,

and He cannot have you unless you give yourself to Him."

When I read these words and contemplated on my recent experience, I couldn't help but think of my favorite line from one our most heartfelt hymns, "More used would I be." It was good to feel like I had been "used" for the day. I realize that I am guilty of not fully or consistently handing myself over to the Lord. Now lets see if I can consistently make myself available for use!

Request

Hey Lizzy I think you should give us your talk here on the blog since none of us could see it in person! I bet you did amazing :) Thanks! Love you!

Sore Baby Bums - What to Do?

I realize my posts have not been the most inspirational lately, but I am really struggling with Rosie's diaper rash right now! Rosie has never had a rash like this. She's had little diaper rashes before but they usually go away after a bath or a little cream. This one covers almost her entire bottom, it's completely raw, it's been here for two days now and she SCREAMS every time I go to change it. I even gave her tylenol this morning to help with the pain. Besides diaper rash cream, have you guys found any other home remedies that really help diaper rashes? I can use all the help I can get! I have read online that Vaseline helps a lot. Have you guys ever tried anything else? Almost any advice would help at this point...

Influence

I have been pondering a lot lately about the word influence. Working with the young women I am constantly reminded that people have their agency and will become the sum of their choices. As the hymn says, "God will force no man to heaven." I KNOW when it comes to my own kids I'm going to wish I was the little angel always on their shoulder telling them what to do and say to stay safe from temptation and danger. Darn that agency (haha)!

I know my wish to control is not the plan I fought for in the pre-mortal life. But freedom... freedom to choose... what a scary thing! Especially with how explicit the world is today! And I don't only mean the TV and internet, I'm talking about 7th grade class rooms... The obscenities I hear from the junior high across the street! I am even embarrassed to repeat them to my own husband! The worst kind of filth that exists in the world, and our children will be encountering it at such a young age.

Really? Are we sure we like the idea of agency?? Sometimes I get frustrated with how little control I have over the environment of my girls. I think "all I can do is teach them the right on Sunday and the rest is up to them, if they fall it's not my fault." Knowing that attitude is completely stupid, that leads me to the question, "What is my responsibility? And the simple answer is Influence.

I have a feeling that discovering what that word really means and how to use it's power for good is one of the most important things we can do in this life. It will change our marriages, our children, and all others we have been given the responsibility to help.

But what does it mean to influence someone? Sometimes I feel like I'm being to pushy or preachy or nosey. Hmm.... Persuade with love... to call to repentance without offending... to live the plan of happiness so perfectly that others are convinced of it's truthfulness... This is a gift we all must develop. The darkness is thickening, it's nearly suffocating some of our youth. Our kids must be pretty amazing to be sent to the world during a time such as this. We have SO MUCH to prepare them for!

Okay, I'll stop now. It's been on my mind and it feels good to get off my chest.

Tres Leches

'Tis the season for sweets and treats! Cesar's family always has Tres Leches at every big family gathering, especially for the holidays and birthdays. I thought Iwould share the family recipe with you guys!

Cake:
6 Eggs
1/2 c. Sugar
1 c. Flour
1 teaspoon of Baking Powder

In a bowl, combine the flour and baking powder. In a separate bowl beat the eggs whites until peaks can form. Mix in the sugar and egg yolks one by one. Continue mixing and add the flour/baking powder mix. Mix well for another minute after all ingredients are added. Spray 9x13 pan (preferably glass - it cooks better for some reason) and pour in cake mix. Bake for 20 minutes at 350 degrees.

Three Milks:
2 cans Sweetened Condensed Milk
1 can Evaporated Milk
1 pint Heavy Whipping Cream

*Generally it's one can of each. Cesar's family puts two cans of sweetened condensed and two cans of evaporated milk, but I don't like it as runny as they do. I put two cans of sweetened condensed and one can of evaporated. You can make it however you like it!

Mix half of the whipping cream with the sweetened condensed and evaporated milk when the cake is out of the oven. Immediately poke holes in the cake using a fork. Let it stand for about five minutes (but not too long!), then pour the milk mixture over the cake and put in the refrigerator. You don't want the cake to sit too long and get too dry, it's better to add the milk mixture sooner than later.

Whip the remaining whipping cream for the topping. The typical topping is whipped cream and fresh strawberries, but Cesar's dad likes to add kiwis, blueberries, or other fresh fruit in season like mangos and pineapple.

I hope you all try it some time! It's a Garcia family favorite!