This video is kind of long but it is such an interesting perspective on human connection and vulnerability. It reminded me of a Sunday School class Nate and I took at the beginning of our marriage. Our teacher was studying to be a marriage counselor at BYU and one thing he talked about over and over again was this simple truth: vulnerability begets intimacy. Not necessarily physical intimacy, although that may be an additional consequence ;) but mostly an emotional intimacy.
In striving to maintain and even strengthen my human connections, bear with me as I explore a few thoughts...
It's quite the paradox that vulnerability was a common denominator in people's separation as well as other people's connections. On the one hand feeling vulnerable lead many people to feel ashamed and therefore unlovable, closing themselves off and becoming more and more distant. On the other hand demonstrating vulnerability to another person and having them love the imperfect you is quite possibly the strongest human connector we know of.
I learned one thing just now in how I worded that... Perhaps the difference isn't the emotion, it's whether we attempt to hide or share the emotion. No it's more than that, it seems to be our perception of our vulnerability. Do our weaknesses make us unlovable or endearing? Hmmm.....
This is all well and dandy in black and white on a computer screen but the honest part of me is thinking, "What a crappy way to live! To share my vulnerabilities all the time! What a drag to have a friend/spouse who's always complaining about their insecurities!"
Maybe we don't always have to share our vulnerability in words, maybe it's just being vulnerable. Asking for things with the possibility of being denied... hoping for something when you might be let down... praying for something with all your heart when the answer just might be "no" or "not yet"... It's starting to sound a lot like the definition of Faith from Elder Bednar's talk But If Not.
Okay, it's late... too much to think about... Perhaps I'll end by posing this simple question:
How can we become more "whole-hearted" and strengthen our human connections?
