No elves, no leprechauns, no Valentine's Day boxes and why that is OK

Great article. This nicely sums up how I've been feeling lately. I especially love to witness the talents of my sisters and I feel so blessed to have my children surrounded by such strong, amazing women--it will help shape their view of what womanhood is. I like seeing other women succeed, it reinforces what I believe about our gender--that we are strong, capable and have something unique to offer.

There have been times when I have been caught in the comparison snare and have felt down on myself for being [insert whatever age] and feeling like I have accomplished so little. As I approach the big 35, I am happy to say that I truly feel comfortable in my own skin, and feel content with the talents I've been given (and I'm proud of those of you who have figured this out already.) That said, I believe there are still dormant talents in each of us waiting to be discovered and developed, and that idea makes me very excited for the future.


Brooke Romney: No elves, no leprechauns, no Valentine's Day boxes and why that is OK | Deseret News

Amazing Women. Our Angels.

I went to a fireside tonight and Reid Moon was the speaker. He is an expert on historical documents and books and he collects them then sells them. He told some amazing stories that have stuck out to him during his research and one in particular stuck out to me. Some parts may not be exactly right, but it is what I can remember. :)

It was about Phoebe Whittemore Carter, who was Wilford Woodruff's wife. They met when they were both about 30 years old and she was singing a song as he was walking by the house she was staying in when he started to join her singing. She opened the window, looking down from the second floor to find a man standing there. He asked her how she felt about him calling on her and she said, "without a proper introduction? Cold." And she shut the window on him. They were married 2 1/2 months later.

Not long after they had a daughter, then Phoebe became very sick and died from the illness. Wilford Woodruff said, "The spirit and power of God began to rest upon me until, for the first time during her sickness, faith filled my soul, although she lay before me as one dead." He took some consecrated oil, then consecrated it again, and laid his hands upon her and gave her a powerful blessing. She took a breathe and came back to life. She tells the story a little differently (as told by Wilford Woodruff):

"While I was undergoing this ordeal (as my wife related afterwards) her spirit left her body, and she saw it laying upon the bed and the sisters were there weeping. She looked at them and at me, and upon her babe; while gazing upon this scene, two persons came into the room, carrying a coffin, and told her they had come for her body. One of these messengers said to her that she might have her choice - she might go to rest in the spirit world, or, upon one condition, she could have the privilege of returning to her tabernacle and of continuing her labors upon the earth. The condition was that if she felt she could stand by her husband, and with him pass through all cares, trials, tribulations, and afflictions of life which he would be called upon to pass through for the gospel's sake unto the end, she might return. When she looked at the situation of her husband and child she said, 'Yes, I will do it.' At the moment that decision was made the power of faith rested upon me, and when I administered to her, her spirit re-entered her tabernacle, and she saw the messengers carry the coffin out the door."

Phoebe went on to have nine children, five of whom died in infancy, stood by her husband through the polygamy (even though she was openly against it until receiving her own answer it was the will of the Lord) and being the prophet's wife. I don't think she had a full idea of what life had in store for her. Had she known she may not have made the same choice. The fact that she made the choice to return to this life instead of resting from her labors says a lot and is the reason she stuck out to me so much tonight. It made me think of my life and my faithfulness to my husband and my family. There are so many faithful women who have gone before us who have used that faith as a REAL POWER in their lives. These are women who buried many children, cared for their families while their husbands were away on missions, backed up the prophet Joseph Smith amidst all the persecution, took their families across the "wilderness" in wagons and hand carts, read the Book of Mormon and showed their children what REAL women can do with the power of their faith.

As I walked in my front door I felt a load on my shoulders of the shoes I had to fill of all these amazing women who have gone before me. Then I quickly felt a guardian angel, then two, then three, then a whole crowd around me by the time I got to my room. I stood in front of my closet and began to weep as I realized all those amazing women who have gone before me are the ones supporting me, lifting me, guiding me, helping me, cheering for me, and comforting me as I try to continue on my path in faith with the hope that everything will turn out all right in the end. I forget the power of FAITH sometimes. I forget that faith is not just a nice thought of hope. Faith is a real power that can give us strength, dedication, stamina, patience, and love amidst trials and days we feel we are not enough. I have felt the power of faith and the absence of faith in my life. I can see now that I am much less on my own when I don't have a fire of faith burning inside me. I am more timid, not sure of myself, I have less patience with my children and I am more concerned with earthly things that have no importance in the eternal plan. Then when I have God as a more prominent figure in my life through my faith I am more focused on what matters, I have more strength in my heart to be the kind of woman I want to be, I am more confident in my beliefs and in myself. When I have the faith in Him to lead me, guide me, and walk beside me I have a fire in my heart with a conviction that I can do anything God asks me to do. I will commit tonight to have more faith, more consistently.

These are my thoughts and my testimony tonight. I love you all and I am so grateful to feel that I am being raised among some of the greatest women I know. My sisters. My angels.

Fostering Conversion in Children - Lili Andersen Fireside

In the past, many people have stayed in the church for duty, or family, or culture. However, the rising generation will have far fewer people stay in the church out of duty. Societal pressures are changing and the voice of the world is deafening. Our children must be converted, on their own, to the saving Gospel of Jesus Christ. Here are some ways to encourage that process.

1)Build a positive relationship with God.

•  Teach them the meaning of TRUE PRAYER. First by example. When you pray in front of your children let them hear your pleading, fears, joys, gratitude, as if you were praying alone. Teach them how you REALLY pray. Teach them that when we feel hurt, or not getting the answer/help we thought we would it's OK. It's okay to be hurt, just tell God about it. Don't shut him out. One woman said, "I didn't want to have a bad attitude in my prayers so I kept my pain to myself. Then I realized, God can handle it! That's one reason he gave us prayer." 
• Give your children every opportunity to pray over all of life's troubles and joys. Heavenly Father wants to answer them! "Maybe we should pray about this..."
• Heavenly Father is helping us all the time. We need to point it out so our children can see it. 
• Don't be in a hurry. Remove that word from your life. Plan so that putting on shoes and getting ready is a happy and loving pace. It will be better for your children and you! When you are in a hurry it's very difficult to feel the spirit. This pace of life will allow them to feel the spirit more. If you take the time you need to be listening always you will be directed to things and experiences to help your children's faith grow. 
• Learn to recognize and feel God's love. When you learn something by the spirit, sunsets, hugs from your kids. When does it come to you? See it and enjoy it. Then teach your kids to do the same. 

2)Understand the plan of Salvation. 

• Don't just lay out the whole plan and move on. Spend time on each individual phase of the plan. Why did we have a war over agency in the pre-existence? What is the true test of life? 
• After death paradise requires covenants kept. Prison 1 is like a school for learning for those with no covenants. Prison 2 is hell, where you pay the price of your own sins, those who rebelled against the light. 
• Hymn 240 - God will force no man to heaven. Agency is the power to lead us all to our greatest desires. Not everyone wants the celestial kingdom. 
• If you have questions then find the answers! They are out there for those with eyes to see. It was never about proof. If it were the gold plates would be on display down at temple square! It's about a test of faith. 

3)Learn to harness the natural man, then DO IT.  

• Earth life is the chance to exercise spirit over flesh.  The successful practice of this allows God to endow us with power. God will not give power to people who can't control themselves. If we can't master the flesh then amen to our power. 
• Can we master the flesh? Will it master us? Eating, yelling, temper, money, callings, home and visiting teaching, time management, lust... are you in control, or is the flesh? I
• Invite your children to understand the POWER of mastering the flesh. Teach them how to repent, how to process negative emotions. 
• The old adage of "follow your heart" is given as the reason for many stupid choices. Don't follow your heart! Follow the spirit! Don't pray for permission to do things against the counsel of prophets. She used the example of a girl in college praying to know if she should room with a girl who occasionally does drugs and sleeps with guys. "Why are you praying about that? You know the standards of the church!" Pray to know if it's true then follow it.
• If you do what's right you'll never be alone. You'll be unworried about what's fair. Life is unfair so we can prove that we are Christians. 

My Kids Need ME

Ok, this made me cry tonight. I have not been giving my kids enough of me. Not in the perfectionistic way, like I should be so much more. They don't care about my own self-judging measuring stick. They just want me, as I am, to wake up, come out of the fog and witness their priceless spirits. Let me know what you think...

http://creativewithkids.com/you-know-what-will-ruin-my-kids/

Marriage: A Great Mystery

I just finished watching a show on marriage. A Christian marriage counselor was talking about Ephesians 5:17-33. Here's my summary of the verses, simply to promote my own understanding, followed by my own thoughts after listening to his message...

vs. 17-12: Don't be dumb, understand the will of God. To do so you can't have distractions that fill up your mind, you must be filled with the spirit. Hymns and scriptures should flow through your mind regularly, putting your heart in the right place. Then keep your blessings front and center in your life, working for them and towards them. That is real gratitude. (As in everything else, you must personally connect to heaven before being a successful anything, but this is particularly true of being a celestial wife.)

vs. 21-24: When it comes to marriage you need to submit to each other, putting the needs of the whole ahead of your own. Wives submit to your husbands in the same way you submit to the Lord. Allow him to lead you. (How do we submit to the Lord? We trust his word, we seek his counsel, we support all righteous goals and efforts with gratitude and service. We submit to wisdom and love. That is how we submit to the Lord. We DON'T submit to selfishness, laziness, or sin.)

vs. 25-27: The husband needs to learn to love and lead a family, that is his calling and destiny, even as Christ is the head of the church. He must use the word of God to continually cleanse the family from the world so he can present his family, whole and pure at the last day. (Let him lead. Respect the role that he has been called to fill. That is a man's number one need in a relationship, respect. That is the most vital gift we can give our husbands. It is the key to their hearts. One of the greatest ways to communicate disrespect is in your tone. For example, you can say "could you please take you the trash?" as a gentle request or a scathing indictment to his laziness just by using different tones.)


vs. 28-31 Men need to live up to the respect given to them by their wives. Even when, or especially when, her needs make no sense to him he must honor them without demanding an explanation. He should see her as an extension of himself. If your arm itches you don't demand an explanation before scratching it. A marriage is two people becoming one. (Our number one need in a relationship is security through sacrifice. We need to see our men sacrifice for us. It secures our hearts to them. When they sacrifice for us we would follow them anywhere, am I right? I think men were not meant to fully understand women. When they seek to fill our needs, even without a complete logical explanation, it shows us their dedication and commitment.)

vs. 32-33: This is one of the great mysteries of Godliness, this balance of opposing roles. It was modeled perfectly by Christ and his sacrifice for the church. Now it is up to us to apply this principle for celestial potential to our marriages. Men love your wives as yourselves and women reverence your husbands. (I love how at the end of the whole explanation it changes women's role from submit to it's "higher-law" name: reverence. Think of the times you feel most reverent. The word respect has so many different connotations in my mind (R-E-S-P-E-C-T find out what it means to me). But reverence is a much narrower category in my mind. I think of the temple, the sacrament, beautiful hymns, personal revelation. That's the kind of respect we are asked to give our husbands.)

So what do I need to do? What is my part? Gentleness, kindness, and valuing his input and opinions. I need to stay open with him, letting him know how thing affect me. I need to contribute to the decision making process with my own wisdom and insight. In the end I need to respect his decisions even if I don't agree. We both have our agency but the goal is to be united, to be together. And that's goal behind this principle that Paul calls a "great mystery of Godliness."

Motherhood

Hi BFFs,

It's been a while but I came across a little snippet during my latest topical study that I want to share. This year in my study I'm treating myself like my own investigator by focusing my study towards personal questions and concerns, rather than just a general study of the scriptures and gospel topics. As a result, the first topic I'm addressing is Motherhood.  Motherhood is something that I'd like to get a deeper understanding and appreciation for, especially since I find myself in the trenches often wondering what I'm doing or frustrated with the results and how I'm doing things. Beyond that, because Motherhood is our ultimate calling and goal in the eternities, I feel like I should better understand just what it is I'm working towards and trying to become.

That said, I listened to this interview of Julie B. Beck yesterday on the topic and just loved the wisdom that she exudes. Sometimes I get wrapped up in techniques, philosophies and methods, but she has a way of stripping it all down to what matters most. I encourage you to find time to take a listen:

Julie B. Beck on Motherhood

Some of my favorite parts:

• Her intro and explanation of motherhood at the beginning and how it's an eternal calling.
• Perfection is not required nor possible, instead focus on being INTENTIONAL and PRECISE with a few things.
• When it comes to chores, work WITH your children and make it a teaching opportunity. Her mother "never sent, she went." It's not the chore that's important, it's the child.
• You have to partner with the Lord. How is our alignment? "You are the guardians of the heart...no other work reaches so close to the divinity as does the nurturing of the sons and daughters of God." -Pres. Hinckley.
• Her 1,2,3,4 method of Motherhood that helps prepare for the challenges of the day-to-day. 

I'd love to hear--what are yours?

Good Touch, Bad Touch Talk With Your Kids

Let's talk about different kinds of touches. There are good touches and bad touches. A good touch is something like a high five! How does it make you feel when someone gives you a high five? Happy! That's right! Can you think of some other good touches? (Hugs, tickles, holding hands) You know that a touch is good when it makes you feel happy inside. What about when someone hits you, how does that make you feel? Right, sad. What other kinds of touches make us sad? (Kicking, punching, pushing). Is it ever ok for someone to give you a bad touch and make you sad? No! Because you are so special and nobody should ever hurt you! What should you do if someone hurts you? Tell someone! Who could you tell? (Parents, teachers, police man) These are good people who want to keep you safe and happy. We all want to make sure that nobody gives you bad touches and hurts you. 

I also want to talk to you about a word that you might know, the word is "private". Do you know what that means? It means something that's very special to you that you don't have to share with anyone else. Most things we have to share, but some things are so special that we get to keep them all to ourselves, isn't that cool? Can you think of anything that might be private? A special toy maybe? 

Did you know that certain parts of our body are private? There are parts of you that you don't share with anyone else, they are called private parts. They are the parts of your body covered up by a bathing suit. Even when we go swimming we cover up our private parts because they are so special and not for sharing. Do you think it would be okay if someone wanted to touch your private parts? No silly! (smile and be relaxed) That's because they are private and not for sharing. What do you think you should do if someone tried to touch your private parts? Say, "No way! That's not for sharing!" Can you try to say that with me? (Have fun doing a big attitude with a hand up, help them feel strong.) Good! Then who could you tell? That's right!

I'm so proud of you and how strong you are! You don't let anybody hurt you, right? You don't let anybody hurt you or give you bad touches to make you sad, right? Because I'm always here to protect you that's my job.